Maybe
(ATF)

by Kayim

Disclaimer: As always, not mine.
Summary: A little kiss can cause a lot of confusion. Chris's POV.
Rating: R
Feedback: Yes please!


Ezra Standish is a flirt.

More to the point, Ezra Standish has been flirting with me, driving me absolutely insane.

And what's worse is he knows it.

I never paid that much attention to Ezra before, to be honest. Like Vin and the others, he was just 'one of the guys'. We're as close as brothers, all of us, but I never had any interest in them. Not like this. All of a sudden, the only thing I can seem to think of is Ezra.

It all started last week. We have these get-togethers now and then, usually at my place, sometimes at one of the others'. Nothing exciting, just the seven of us having a few beers, watching whatever game happens to be on, trying not to think about work. It's part of a routine we share to try and keep our lives from becoming only about the job. It was completely normal. JD had too many beers and was trying to balance an empty bottle on his head; Buck was regaling us with stories about June-or-Jane from the secretarial pool; Josiah had made up a batch of his world-famous chili; and Ezra kissed me.

Or I kissed him. The details are a little fuzzy.

But there was definite kissing. Lots of it. And boy, is he a good kisser. He's got lips as soft as a woman's, but there is nothing but strength and determination there. He kisses with a purpose - he knows what he wants and he'll go after it. Like a dog with a bone. 'Scuse the pun.

No-one else saw us; they were firmly caught up in JD's balancing attempts. We volunteered to make the next beer run to the store and were on our way back. There we were standing on the doorstep with me fumbling in my pocket looking for my key when he apologised to me.

Before I had a chance to even ask why he was apologizing, his hand had reached around behind my head and pulled me to him.

I forgave him pretty quickly.

That was a week ago. He'd kissed me like the world was about to end and then calmly reached into my pocket, fishing out the elusive key. He opened the door and walked in as though nothing had happened. Since then, nothing. Nada. Zilch. Not a smile, barely even a look. Not even a quick grope in the store cupboard. Nothing.

I was about to give up on it all as a bad joke, until I noticed the flirting. He's subtle, I'll give him that, I almost didn't spot it.

Yesterday, he came into work in jeans. Designer jeans, admittedly, but jeans that looked like they had been made especially for him. They fit like the proverbial glove and looked fantastic on him. He usually wore more office-type clothes, so the jeans in themselves were unusual enough. He also had on a jumper that looked like it was made of pure angora. Black and obviously expensive, it looked perfect with the jeans. Or so I thought. Until he removed it.

I had just stepped out of my office to berate him for being late, again, when he purposely turned towards me and pulled the jumper off. As he tugged it over his head, his arms lifted enough for the tee-shirt under it to raise a little, showing me a patch of skin that made me want to dash over there and smother it in kisses. Smooth, tanned and not a single ounce of fat. I could barely breathe. With the most willpower I have ever had to exert in my life, I turned round and shut myself in my office.

That one could have been innocent, of course, but the next one couldn't have been. Buck brought in some donuts for us all and, as always, Ezra dived for the sugared one. That guy has even more of a sweet tooth than Vin. We were sitting around the desks, chatting about everything and nothing when Ezra caught my eye. Slowly and deliberately, he started licking the sugar from his fingers, all the time with his eyes locked onto mine. There was no mistaking the flirting this time. I was so hard I couldn't stand up. I had to give the guys their tasks for the day and get rid of them all before I could move from behind the desk. As he left, Ezra winked at me.

I don't know what he wants me to do. After all, he's the one who pretended that nothing had happened. He was the one who walked away without a word. Is he doing this now to tease me, or does he actually want me to do something? I know I sure as hell want to. That is not an issue. But I'm not going to make a move unless I'm sure it's what he wants.

Damn, and I thought women were complex.

This afternoon, I called him over to review some notes on a case. He stood behind my chair, his hands either side of me on the desk. As I was talking I suddenly felt a breath on my neck. A warm breath that held the promise of a lot more. Then he asked me when the bust was likely to occur. Had I imagined it? Was I reading things that weren't there?

Maybe I should just do what I want to.
Maybe it's time to stop being too cautious and to take the plunge.
Maybe I should just send the others home and drag him into my office.
Maybe I should kiss him senseless and rip those expensive designer clothes off him.
Maybe I should throw him onto the desk and fuck him until neither of us can speak.

Maybe.

THE END

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